Monday, 16 September 2013

Pruning - my experience of regional work

I'm not really too sure where to start with this blog, I'd quite like to make it insightful for any other backpackers who come across it and want a truthful perspective on regional work. But it is just that, my perspective, so other experiences may be better or worse, depending on the work, the farm, the area.

I only ended up sticking it out for one month and hated nearly every single minute of it. 

Regional work and in my case pruning, is boring. Fact. 
I, like most people I imagine, hate boring, monotonous tasks.
To add to the fact that it is boring, I am also an over-thinker, boring job + over-thinking = worst job ever.
8 hours of working a day doing the same repetitive motion of cutting vines is also a killer physically. I ended up in agony, to the point where I couldn't use my right arm properly because I had pulled the muscles or tendons so much and it took a good two weeks after I left for it to heal fully. You also end up with horrendous cramps in your hands (my friend who stuck it out for 3 months, wakes up with her hands frozen in a claw from using the electric secateurs).

I'm also not a very strong girl, so I definitely think that didn't help, because it meant that my body was already at a disadvantage and also that I couldn't zip through the pruning as quickly as the farmer wanted me too, which also meant that I didn't make very much money at all. I was on a $1 per vine and would make between $65-$85 dollars a day, my friend who I was working with was a lot better than me and was pruning about $100 a day. After keep was taken from my pay, I wasn't left with a lot. But I guess you have to weigh up if you are in it for the monetary reward as well as the second year visa, depending on what your motivation is, may mean you can or cannot stick it out.

Originally I went to the farm with the plan to do my 3 months in one lot, as opposed to the 88 days spread out. Would I still do this now? I think to be honest I would attempt to do it in two lots of 44 days, I feel that that would be much more bearable mentally and physically, for me anyway.

The below is a very brief guide of what would I recommend if you were looking to do your regional work:

1. Do it in a busy farm / backpackers place - a good few friends of mine went to Mildura and actually had a really good time and made some great mates. So I would recommend heading there from what I've heard.
2. Avoid vineyards - they are probably one of the hardest jobs to do.
3. Avoid Western Australia (half joking / half serious - I'm slightly scared by my experience)
4. Be prepared for the most boring 3 months of your life. Ever.
5. Don't leave it until the end of your time in Australia to complete because if you can't get work or don't like the farm, you are at a serious disadvantage.
6. Be prepared for farmers to be sexist - there are obviously some great bosses out there but also some w*nkers. And if they aren't the nicest, don't put up with crap - yes they can replace you quicker than you can sneeze but that shouldn't be a reason for them to take the mickey i.e. in pay (a lot of places do) or in treatment - if you wouldn't put up with it in a 'normal' place of work, why put up with it here?
7. Only do it if you know you really want the 2 year visa.

Would I change whether or not I did my month of regional work knowing what I know now? No, I would still do it, because it was an enlightening experience, a tough one but still a worthwhile experience in a lot of respects and that's what I came here for. But if I could have told the farmer where he could of stuck his secateurs - that would have made me very happy indeed.

Beautiful skies - one saving grace

War wounds

Bane of my life


In action

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

The Great Ocean Road / Adelaide and Perth


I left Melbourne at the end of May and did the Great Ocean Road to Adelaide. It has taken me until now (late July) to get around to writing up this part of my adventure and to be honest with you it may take me a while to recall all of it! But I'll give it ago...

Leaving Melbourne was sad but I was also extremely excited to be heading off to see and discover more of Oz. After eventually managing to re-cram everything back into my back pack and rucksack I left Port Melbourne early on the 24th May. The final part of my Oz Experience bus was operated by Bunyip Tours and involved a 3 day trip to along the Great Ocean Road and Grampians. The Great Ocean Road in its entirety was simply stunning, we were extremely lucky and had very good weather for most of the trip, so the sunshine simply added to the breathtaking views. The first day consisted off stopping at Bells Beach which is one of Australia's most famous surfing beaches, after having a stroll along here we headed off to stop at and admire the views from Lorne and Apollo Bay, both two small coastal towns. We then headed to Cape Otway Lighthouse for a spot of lunch before heading off to the 12 Apostles and Gibson's steps.
Bells Beach
The 2nd day we started off fairly early to re-visit the 12 Apostles in a different light, we then continued on to visit London Bridge, the Bay of Isles and the Bay of Martyrs before heading into the Grampians, stopping off at an Aboriginal Cultural centre. The next day was spent mostly exploring the Grampians; Mackenzie Falls and Wonderland (which the best way to describe this is lots of rock formations that you can walk/climb across) before those of us who were heading to Adelaide got dropped off to catch another coach.


Bay of Martyrs (I think)



12 Apostles

Grampians
London Bridge

Glenelg Beach
4/5 hours later we arrived in Adelaide. I spent the first night at the YHA in the city center, good location for exploring the city and reasonably priced too, even for non members (as some YHA's can be fairly overpriced in my opinion). I spent my first day in Adelaide walking around a large part of the city, I took myself off to the National Wine Centre which is nestled in a corner of the Botanical Gardens, I had a quick nose in the SA museum (but I felt a bit museumed out by the time I got here towards the end of the day). the SA art gallery and the jam factory (no its not a jam factory its another art gallery). Around mid afternoon I headed off to Glenelg which is where I was staying for 2 more nights, its a tram ride out of the city to a little seaside town, which in the summer is hugely popular but as I was in low season was very very quiet (much like Adelaide in general). On my last day before I flew from Adelaide to Perth I went to Victor Harbor to spend the day with some family that I hadn't seen for more than a decade. It was so lovely to catch up with them, which surprisingly (and thankfully) wasn't awkward in the slightest. Sam and Uncle Dick took me around Victor Harbor to show me the popular tourist town, we had a spot of lunch and then had a walk around the Island of Granite.






Granite Island





Adelaide as a city, is far too quiet and small for me but I can understand why a lot of families settle there - it has a real suburban feel, even in the CBD. As I was only there for a flying visit I unfortuantely didn't get to travel to any wineries but I am hoping to go back in September / October so will ensure that I pay them a visit then!

After goodbyes with my family and re-packing my rucksack once again, the next morning I was off to catch my flight to Perth. A note I have made to myself if not to fly with Jetstar ever again, they are the easyjet of Australia and although they get you from A-B, I ended up being charged for a few more kilo's that I was carrying (even after throwing away a lot of things including my hairdryer!) and I realised that for the extra money that I ended up spending I may have simply have booked with Virgin and had a more pleasant experience than I did but you live and learn. So my advice for any backpackers out there, unless you are traveling very light or definitely within the weight limit I'd recommend not flying with Jetstar (or Tiger - I have heard they are even worse) and paying that little bit more for a far superior service which includes food and entertainment!

In Perth I decided to stay at the Wickham Retreat, which is a really small hostel in comparison to a lot of other places I have stayed, I think they had a capacity of around 30 people, so it had a lovely cosy homely feel and situated in East Perth. Its a tad more expensive but if you are looking at staying a while if you speak with the owner who is always on the property, apparently he can do deals so its a lot more reasonable - I only found this out once I had left, but I still really liked staying there. I was only in Perth initially for 3 nights whilst I was waiting to head south to start my regional work. I can't comment too much on Perth as I didn't get to see or experience that much of it, but I will say these few things - the centre of Perth is...not the nicest of area's, even though parts of the shopping centre and surrounding look like it has recently been re-done it has quite a run down / down trodden feel to it. They do however offer three free bus services around the main parts of the city, which is great if you're a tourist! I took myself off to Fremantle one day, which I would recommend when the markets are on, either a Friday or a Saturday and also to Kings Park, which has simply the most amazing view of the city. I didn't feel particularly safe in Perth so didn't really venture out at night but I did take myself to a quirky little cinema to see The Great Gatsby (loved it!).
View from Kings Park of Perth city

On the Saturday morning I was picked up by the farmer and his wife and I was taken off to Boyup Brook to commence my 3 months on a vineyard completing my regional work. Needless to say, it didn't work out as planned I am now writing this blog from back in Melbourne....my next post details my time pruning in WA. Which is now thankfully only a memory.


Wednesday, 15 May 2013

April and May - Urban Living

I realised that I have started the majority of all my other posts with 'So...' So (du see what I did there..) I thought I would try and shake things up a bit and start with a different word to highlight my versatility.

I have had a fairly settled routine few months in Melbourne, which is understandable when you live in a city for 4 months, its ceases being travelling and starts being home. Melbs is definitely my home away from home. But at the end of May it is time for me to leave and head off on a few weeks of backpacking again before embracing my 3 months of farm work (eeeeekkkk).

What have the last 2 months entailed I hear you cry, well let me tell you...(I really wanted to use the word so to start that sentence).

I went to see Temper Trap perform at Festival Hall at the end of April, great night, took us a while to get to the venue as there are two festival halls but we got there in the end! If you have the chance to see them perform - do!!











In April and May I was lucky and had a few visitors from friends I have made on my travels, one being Ailsa, the other Amy (Amy I'll be doing my 3 months with) and Hannah, was great to catch up with some 'old' friends. When Ailsa was down a few of us went to see an AFL game, which is Australian Football League. I personally don't like it, its a mishmash of loads of different sports tactics and it just don't make sense to me. Give me a game of rugby any day. However, I will say this, the athlete's involved in this sport are fit on a whole new level and I'm not talking attractiveness (although they certainly aren't bad...) they run around a cricket pitch for 2 whole hours! Hats off to them. If you want to know more about the game have a click here because it interests me that little that I can't really be bothered to write about it, sorry any fans out there. Whilst Ailsa was down we also did some sight seeing, which I hadn't done a whole lot of up to that point to tell the truth - I had kind of been in the groove of living here as opposed to sightseeing the city, so it was nice to have someone to do it with and be in photos with me!
At the AFL game

View of Melbourne from the Shrine of Remembrance


I also moved house to live with Shireen and James for my last 5 weeks in Melbourne. They have a beautiful house in Port Melbourne and I finally got my own room with wardrobes!!! I'm still on a blow up bed and only with enough possessions to fit in a rucksack and daysack (I hope) but I love it and at the moment wouldn't have it any other way.

In Australia in April there is a public holiday called Anzac Day. There are quite a few traditions that accompany this day, such as an early morning service at the Shrine of Remembrance. However, there is also a tradition, called Two Up, a coin based betting game, which has been banned everywhere in Australia apart from on Anzac Day. So James, Shireen and I all headed to one of the pubs in Melbourne The Mail Exchange Hotel (oh by the way if I haven't mentioned it already all the pubs in Melbourne are called Hotels...) to partake in a bit of Two Up. I won $5 on my first bet and then decided to quit whilst I was ahead. Was good fun though, if you are ever in Oz on Anzac day get involved!

End of April and beginning of May, was also ROADTRIP TIME!! The first roadtrip was to the Mornington Peninsula with Autopia Tours. We were really lucky and had perfect weather this day. We stopped off at a few sights such as Arthur's Seat and Flinders Beach and went to a Dairy Farm where we had cheese tasting (well I didn't I just ate the crackers), a strawberry farm where we did cider tasting because its out of season for strawberries, and 3 wineries - where we had a selection of their wines to taste. It was a great day, and I would recommend doing this type of trip either to the Mornington Peninsula or Yarra Valley (or both) whilst you are in Victoria.

The next weekend was Williamstown time, not too far out of the city, this is a really small, quaint town. Populated more by older and elderly people, there wasn't really a lot here but we had a good view of the city and a little wander by where the boats were docked. 

Brighton Beach and Phillip Island were next on the roadtrip list. Brighton Beach is famous for all the multi-coloured beach huts. Brighton Beach isn't too far out of the city, only a few stops further along on the old Sandringham train line that I used to get when I lived in Elwood. We unfortunately parked at a beach a bit to far away from the huts and because we only had an hour on the parking meter we could only see them from a distance but you might be able to get an  idea of what I'm talking about from the photo.


Me at Nobbies ;)
Nobbies blowhole
Next on to Phillip Island! 2 hours away from Melbourne, Phillip Island is probably most famous for its penguins!! Which was exactly why we were going. Home to thousands of little or fairy penguins, at dusk everyday you can watch them all come ashore and scramble up the beach to their nests. Its definitely worth a visit and costs around $23, they're a not for profit organisation so most of the money goes towards conservation projects and such like. If you like the sound of it check out http://www.penguins.org.au/ for more information. We were lucky and had another glorious day weather wise and stopped off at a picturesque beach (seriously though what beach in Australia isn't?!) which is one of the best beaches for surfing apparently, grabbed some fish and chips for lunch, had a little drive around the island and then headed to Nobbies Blowhole (insert immature comments here - we certainly did) before the penguin parade. You can't take pictures at the penguin parade so I'm afraid I don't have any from that part of the trip to put up, but if you do go make sure you wrap up well as it can get really cold when the sun goes down!
Another beautiful beach

Throughout April I also decided it was time to get back into some acting as I was missing it a little too much. So as if by magic I saw an advert for the Ward Studio on the train one day and decided to enquiry about courses and 2 days after my enquiry I started on some more Meisner training. It warmed my creative little heart right up and will hopefully keep me going for a little longer before I can get down to business properly with it all again.

I shall also be attending the Hollywood costume exhibition at the ACMI before I leave Melbs next week, along with hitting up a few more galleries, hidden bars and any other random Melbourne bits and pieces that I must do before I leave.

I'm already 6 months into my travels, which is sheer madness but I do miss all my friends and family dearly but thankfully technology makes its so much easier these days to keep in touch.

So where am I heading off to? Well I'm off to do The Great Ocean Road, followed by a few nights in Adelaide, then a few nights in Perth and then off to work here for 3 months - http://tammargullywines.com.au/

Not sure how much I'll be online or able to update my blog during the next 3 months but wish me luck!!!!
And hopefully speak soon x 

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

March - The month I brought a hairdryer...and did a few other awesome things


So after 4 months, I brought a hairdryer, this was a momentous occasion for me living out of a 55L backpack, it signifies that luxury has entered my life!! But what else has happened in March, a few more exciting things other than buying a hairdryer, dying my hair and getting my hair cut I promise - I got a job for a few weeks at RMIT in the Alumni Department doing Events Co-ordination. Really enjoy working here, the work is interesting and eveyone is lovely!

Future Music Festival  Sunday 10th March! 
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooo FMF 2013 - tooo much fun!!!!!!!! The day started with a few pre drinkys at the flat. Unfortunately one of the girls who was meant to come was ill and so had to pull out but thankfully her ticket didn't go to waste and we managed to find another taker! Held at Flemington Racecourse Future Music is a day festival that gets around Australia, over a few weekends playing at Perth, Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne and Adelaide.
We spent most of the day jumping between the 3 main stages/tents (although there were 6 or 8 in total).Headlining this time was Avchii. The weather was soo hot, it was actually a little ridiculous - 35degrees or there about, but thankfully most people seemed to be sensible in relation to drinking in the heat/ burning etc (sorry Mum hat on here!) I'm really paranoid about ageing loads whilst I'm over here so I am doing my best not to tan!! Haha I know, how ridiculous you may think, but when you lot all look like old leather, with sun spots and discolouration and my face and skin is still as plump  and as smooth as a peach you shan't be laughing then!


My favourite band there was The Temper Trap - I've actually only just discovered these and I love them! Off to see them in Concert at the end of April too, can't wait! They were great live, vocally they sounded exactly the same as on their recordings - which is how you know you have a good band because they don't need lots of over producing to help them sound good - they just are! So apart from The Temper Trap I also saw (in no particular order)...Ellie Goulding, Rita Ora, FUN, Rudimental, Madeon, Zeds Dead, The Stone Roses, Bloc Party and Avchii...was that it?...I think so.

The following weekend was the Grand Prix on Sunday 17th March.





Well prepared for rain and having to sit
on the floor with my waterproof table
cloth and portable travel cushion
The weather has started to 'turn' and and I use that term lightly because its still between 14 - 29 degrees depending on the day. But on the day of the Grand Prix, it was quite chilly so I wrapped up in 7 layers in total! It had been raining non stop on the Saturday but thankfully, brightened up on the Sunday in the afternoon. Held at Albert Park, I went with Jenny and Eddie and randomly bumped into my 2 friends whom I sold Reindeer ears with back in Sydney at Christmas. There was lots to do entertainment wise, some exhibitions of racing cars and a kind of museum detailing the history, various other races prior to the Grand Prix, so we had a wander and a watch and then when the race started positioned ourselves on the straight between the 1st and 2nd corner. Which was a good view but obviously with the cars speeding past you don't really get to see them for more than 2 seconds!


In the week I went to see Passenger on Wednesday 20th March at the Athenaeum  Theatre, I was so chuffed that I finally got to see him play!! I have my friend Chris to thank for getting me into him, and he is amazing live, such a quirky, cool and funny fellow who is a lyrical genius and talented musician. His support acts were also amazing - Stu Larsen and Sam Brittain. Brilliant night, I could listen to him play all day, I really could!





On a different note I'm not quite sure how I missed this 4 months ago but I want to promote one of my best pals Neil's blog (also because I'm featured in it and we all know how I really can't stand attention...) http://www.backpacksandbunkbeds.co.uk/australia/coogee-to-bondi-coastal-walk/
If you are interested in travelling or interested in only travelling from the luxury of your couch then either way have a read. Neil has a really good style of writing and you can also follow him on twitter at @packsandbunks and while you're at it why not follow me too @LaurenWigmore I must admit I'm a bit rubbish at the moment with my tweets but for me Twitter is more for my acting in terms of networking.

Oh speaking of acting I did a 3 days short Meisner Intensive with the Ward Studio, which made me very happy to get back into something creative. I truly love Meisner, even though I am still a beginner learning and understanding his techniques - they are and he is still the practitioner that I feel most akin to. I'm really looking forward to doing more training with either the Ward Studio or The Actors Temple in the future. I'm also really missing working with SYS too (the theatre company I worked with in London) who you can follow @systheatre. They have just finished another fringe production which received impressive reviews! Go team!!
During my Easter I didn't do loads, as I've been ill with a cold for a few days, but I caught up with Shireen and her fiance James who have just moved over here for work, was nice to see a familiar face, we went sight seeing which was basically a pub crawl but we discovered some very quirky places, lots of secret back alleys and crazy graffiti, just discovering more of Melbourne really.





And that's basically my March! Will still be in Melbourne in April, where I think I may have to give in and buy a coat and some waterproof shoes! Winter is a coming.....lets see what its like down under!!


Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Melbourne - February Fun Times

So I'm in Melbourne and I LOVE IT!!!!! It has such a good vibe here, really quirky and edgy, a bit like London I guess, there are some beaches, which aren't anywhere near as nice as the ones in Sydney or the East Coast but that doesn't matter! I've even been for a swim in the sea! I need to try and make that more of a regular occurrence, sort out some regular exercise because I have put on weight!! Too many carbs before Marbs!

On my first night out in Melbourne, I met up with Linzi.We were going to head to see the penguins but unfortunately the weather put a stop to that, because it decided it was going to rain torrentially!! That's probably one of the only bad things about Melbourne is how crazy and hit and miss the weather can be. So we ended up going for some drinks, as Linzi works for one of the pub companies in Melbourne it meant we got quite a few free and discounted drinks (get in) we both ended up far more tipsy than planned, so when I decided to take myself off home I suddenly realised I didn't have the foggiest of where I was going, I got on a couple of trams (they use trams here a lot) and thankfully ended up on a road that I had walked down before, just at the very very far end, it took me 45minutes to walk home, without my flipflops on because the ground was so wet and slippery I kept sliding over!!

I was also Linzi's date to see Warhorse (for free) was so nice to go to the theatre again. This was on at the Arts Center Melbourne and is fantastic!! I would highly recommend it, the hype is all worth it! Linzi's now headed to Perth, so we'll hopefully meet up in a few months when I head that way.

Nick, Will & Matt
I head to St Kilda a lot its about a 20minute walk from where I am living - with my friend Matt from home and his flat mates Nick and Will, we all have such a good laugh. But St Kilda is such a cool area, reminds me or a friendlier Shoreditch or Stoke Newington type area. At the end of the pier you can see Penguins, so one evening a few of us went and waited down there at sunset to see if we could spy any, and we did - three of them! Was too dark for any photos though and you aren't allowed to use your flash, they are cute though!!

St Kilda Fest being harassed!
Sunday 10th February, was St Kilda Festival, a free music festival, well the festival goes on all week but the main day is the final Sunday, St Kilda is buzzing and so busy, I didn't actually see hardly any music...opps...but it was still a good day with a few too many drinks along the way!
Drunk, me? at St Kilda fest..no absolutely not....ok maybe a smidge...





At the QV Market
Melbourne CBD - I explored some of the art galleries, walked along the Southbank, had a wander down the laneways (reminds me of Brighton!) went to the NGV (National Gallery Victoria), ACMI and saw a few exhibitions, St Kilda Botanical Gardens, Queen Victoria Wednesday Night Market (best buzz)....and various other cheap/free things. Still need to do quite a lot of touristy things which I think I'll keep for March and April seeing as I've decided to base myself in Melbourne for a few more months, such a Lauren place - LOVE IT!!!

At the end of February there was another free night of art and music, called White Night Melbourne, which was awesome, the whole CBD turned into this massive arena filled with stages and exhibitions, galleries, stages, shops, you name it were open 7pm - 7am on Saturday 21st February filled with overflowing cultural quirkiness, they also lit up the city with loads of light displays on buildings...I was in my drunken hippy happy element!





A friend from Sydney, Heather, was starting her travels with her boyfriend and she started these in Melbourne, so we caught up which was nice to see an 'old' face. A lot of the guys that started out in my Ultimate Oz group are slowly dropping off....it seems such a shame and a waste of a years working holiday visa to head home only a few months in, still I'm deffo making the most of it!! Looking forward to more adventures and exploring in a few months when I take off again!


Me and Jenny at White Night
One of my friends from England, also put me in touch with a few of hers friends in Melbourne and Jenny and I have spent a fair bit of time together, eating far too much calamari, cake and coffee, but all good fun!

I have a fabulously manic March coming up which I cannot wait for! But I'll update all those plans in another post, don't want to make you all too jealous in one hit! Oh and btw, the weather for most of February has been beyond beautiful, hot and sunny, thank you very much Melbs. Knew I'd like it here.... x x x

Monday, 11 February 2013

26th - 28th Jan Sydney - Melbourne 'Safari'

So I leave Sydney on Australia Day and head off on my 2 night/3 day 'Safari' to Melbourne.
Before anyone thinks aw cool a safari, its not, and I have no idea why they call it that either!
So first stop is Canberra the ACT - Australia's Capital Territory. We stop off at the Australian War Museum, a look out point over the whole city where you can take in the cities architectural design and Parliament House and have a drive around the city center. Its such a quiet Capital city, you can understand why people assume Sydney is the Capital. Nice to stop in for a few hours but in all honesty not much to really see or do there. Next we headed to the Snowy Mountains, where we stayed in Ski Lodge accommodation. We all had dinner together and then did a 'shot ski' basically shots are put in a ski and there are 4 shots, so 4 of you do the shots at the same time - slightly problematic! My shot glass fell from the ski has I tried to shallow the shot and ended up breaking on the floor! 2nd time round was much better!

The next day we get up early ready to head off to walk to Mt Kosciuszko, the highest peak on the snowy mountains. We get a ski lift up - omg scary!!! Never been on a ski lift before, did not like it!! So after being ridiculously scared doing the sand boarding and being a wimp on a ski lift I have realised that adrenaline fueled activities are probably not best suited to me, no ski diving for moi in that case! We get to the start of the walk and the weather is a bit dismal and cold! About 20mins in it starts to get cloudy and misty, so we walk to the first look out point and then all decide that its best to head back, as we won't get to see anything anyway. Blue Mountains all over again!! Oh btw, going down on the ski lift was much better than going up on it...

Lakes Entrance
So back in the bus we head off for coffee and then on to Lakes Entrance in Victoria, we stop off on the way at a Platypus enclosure where we stand silently and quietly for about half an hour and are lucky enough to spot a couple in the water. Onwards we head to the Lakes Entrance, which is beautiful and the largest navigable lakes in Australia. Apparently Lakes Entrance is like the Bournemouth of Australia, its where everyone goes to retire or on holiday! We check into the RSL club (thats like a workings man club) and the accommodation is like a cheap hotel (staying in luxury on this trip, no hostels!) and head for some dinner. After dinner the group heads off to 90 mile beach - the longest beach in Oz to watch the sunset.


The next day we continue on to Wilson's Promontory, which is a National Park in Victoria. Here we take a hike through the mountains, explore Squeaky Beach (yep it squeaks when you walk on it), and spot some Kangaroo's and Emu's in the wild, before heading off to Melbourne, arriving early evening on the Monday.

I get dropped in St Kilda and picked up by my good friend Matt, who whisks me away so I can crash at his for a few days and attempt to figure out my life! :0)